Modest Proposal

Lisa der Weduwe
A Modest Proposal. (2009)
______________________________________________________________________________

When walking through this amazing, capitalist world we can see gorgeous advertising campaigns flattering our sidewalks, billboards and transportation, under others. These brilliant pieces of work keep us and especially our dear children wanting to buy more. This new culture that we live in has lured our youth to certain brands, which they shall follow with a burning passion.

As these world leaders try to find more pleasing ways to satisfy loyal clients, more and more money is spent on research. It must also be said that these exquisite advertisements cost our fine, new world leaders quite some money, which could be used at the hands of more pressing things like our military. Also, not always are these young clients of theirs a 100% committed and foolishly break this special bond between brand and child, moving on to what they find is a more “appealing” set of advertisements.

I think that these young children should understand the amount of money that is being spent on them, both by these world leaders and their dear parents, and the importance of this brand-client bond which they should cherish with all their heart and body. Therefore I think it is of uttermost importance that a way should be found to keep our youngster in this special bond without spending too much money.

My intentions to solve this horrifying problem come with modesty and have taken many years to form as it is such a broad problem which deserves only the best of solutions. Having seen many failed attempts myself, I have come up with a solution that will not only save the world leaders enormous amount of money and spare these children of losing their oh-so special bond with these corporations, it is also a very quick and easy solution, which can be sorted within minutes. It will also save the parents, who at this point in time have to fund this amazing relationship, money. Not only will it save them money, it will even gain them money; that generous this modest proposal is indeed.

Now as these world leaders spend so much money, time and effort on children, I think that it is their right to be able to buy the children at birth and label them, and therefore forever keep them in a special corporation-child bond.

Therefore I consider their parents to put their unborn babies up for sale. Of course, they will not have to give away them away at birth to never seem them again; the babies will be labeled in the neck with a barcode of the world leader that has bought this child. After this they will be returned to their loved ones.

This barcode enables them to only buy items by the corporation that they have been bought by, now no need to fret because every corporation will have everything that your child would need available for sale. This way the corporations need not spend any more money on researching and advertising to our children, nor will they risk losing this oh-so important bond. Whenever a child, or an adult for that matter, wishes to buy something the label in their neck will be scanned; when not owned the corporation it has been bought by the person won’t be able to buy it.

Apart from having economic benefits for the world leaders, it will also have benefits for the parents. Next to receiving money when selling the child at birth, there will also be other economic benefits. When scanned, money will not be paid, but put on the account of that child. The bill of the account will only have to be paid once a month, but there will be a certain percentage “sale,” as you could say. Due to the fact that the companies were able to buy their child and keep them in a loving bond, the parents will not have to pay the full cost of the items that have been bought in that particular month, there will be a certain sale subtracted from it. Also when the children grow up, they will not have to pay the full bill as they have been loyal and as gratitude towards the parents.

Of course, we would not want to lose all the gorgeous advertisements that surround us, so I have also thought of that. To keep this loving environment our world leaders will get a billboard, piece of transport or other position for advertisement for each baby that they buy.

This proposal I have over thought and reedited so many times, taking account all the different factors, to come up with the best solution that I could possibly come up with, so I can serve this world. As having an economic benefit to both the world leaders and the parents, without spoiling our advertisement-rich environment, I think this would be the perfect solution to our current problem and I hope that both our governments and world leaders will agree with this idea.